I am feeling a bit cynical this evening, pumpkins, and for that, I apologize; I think that my internal struggle with cynicism may have influenced this week's blog question. I shall let you be the judge, however, as to whether or not this was a good or a bad thing.
As many of you know, and if you didn't you do now, I am not that into people. There are a select few I would ever willingly share time with, and more often than not, it shows. Now, before I go any further, I feel it pertinent to actually define what I mean when I say "people."
So, here it goes, for lack of a more...academic definition:
PEOPLE: Individuals who are not kids or animals, mostly over the age of 25 and under the age of 80.
And there you have it--the definition of people in the world of Cassie Bunje.
This rather pessimistic and certainly asocial view of the human race is not something with which I was born, however, I feel that it began cultivating itself at a rather young age. My childhood was not one to be looked back upon wistfully, and it didn't really get much better as I grew into young adulthood. This was due, almost entirely, to my interactions with and observations of, you guessed it--people. In fact, until I became a teacher, I held out very little hope that I would ever be able to gaze upon the face of another human being without a hint of scorn, mistrust or distaste. True story. Truth be told, and this is not me being dramatic at all--you could probably accurately say that teaching saved my soul. More on that later.
So, in my reading today, I happened upon an interesting quote. I would like you to read and reflect on this quote and tell me what you come up with in terms of whether or not you agree with what it says, and what it even means. As always, qualify your answer with an anecdote of personal experience to help illustrate the point you are making.
Here it is:
"Niceness is a decision. It is a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait."
Have fun, sunshines...
I believe that niceness is a decision we all have to make at one point in our lives. It depends on what kind of heart a person has and whether or not they believe in karma. I don't really care enough to give 200 craps about karma. I believe whatever happens, happens. I'll be ready. I do believe that an individual should have a good heart because it says a lot about a person. I like to be good to people because I socialize with many students here. I find it important to be friendly to females because....well, I have my own reasons. However, when people disrespect me, that's when things tend to get ugly and my heart gets filled with toxic sludge. I need to rebuild on many things. Niceness is very important because it takes people a long way and could get them further than mean people. I do believe that being nice attracts others no matter how nice you are. Being nice mainly takes courage. When things go wrong, and they do 90% of the time in my life anyway, "nice people" need to know how to control themselves and be nice basically. That's all that they need. I wish I could be a great nice person. Nobody is perfect in the world so I don't feel so bad.
ReplyDeleteNiceness is a decision. It also is a character trait. Your decision to be that character or not. The question with character is, is it sincere? Now you can be nice, because society or more likely your belief system says you should be. Wether you really are being nice or kind, or you are for the sack of acceptance is a mystery and only you know. That's why I don't trust humans, they can create the character they want, to please the person in front of them. Full of fabricated kindness, and absolutely deceiving actions, yet to his/her audience that person is demonstrating a great character trait. Everything is a decision, unless it's an involuntary feeling that you possess that drives you to be nice or mean. On the other hand you still have control to show it or not, which brings in the social interaction part. If a girl wants to be nice to a boy SINCERELY, yet socially she would be ridiculed, she would reconsider or even be a bit mean towards him just to prove to the surrounding people otherwise. I personally say what I want and do as I please, but not in absolute liberation and I don't believe anyone does (unless they are mentally imbalanced) because there would be severe social consequences. It can fire you from a job or even prevent you from earning one. Now I'm nice because to be I believe is a charity, I smile because I want others too especially if they need it. I try too be sincere, but I will not be very generous with kindness to someone I don't believe deserves it, or is someone that I lack respect for. If I don't think much of your actions, then I won't be nice to you. If you're not nice and respectful, then you don't deserve to be respected or receive niceness.
ReplyDeleteAre you considered a nice person if you help pick up someone’s books or hold the door for someone trying to get in? Maybe to the people you are helping you are, but in the bigger picture you aren’t. Niceness isn’t measured by how many nice deeds you do in a week. If that were the case even criminals do that every now and again. Niceness isn’t a decision or a strategy of social interactions that you can turn on and off whenever you please. If you think that you can pick and choose when to be nice than one thing is certain you aren’t nice. Niceness is reacting to other people with respect and care, niceness is putting yourself on the line for someone’s gain, niceness is being able to take the actions like picking up someone’s book and being able to do it everyday. Niceness isn’t a social interaction, niceness is a trait. No, actually I think niceness is a power, a power to look at a twisted world and still want to make it better with your actions.
ReplyDeleteSome people who might read this may think I have the complete wrong idea of niceness. They may think that respect for other people is called respect not being nice. Sure at first thought some of these ideas could have nothing to do with being nice. However, looking at them from my point of view all three of these ideas make up niceness. Let’s start with the ability to care and respect others. If you care for someone you wouldn’t bad mouth them, tease them, or knock them around. Instead you would try and do the exact opposite. You would try to make them feel better about themselves or give them a helping hand. In basic words you would respect them. Now based off how I’m raised if you are respecting someone you are doing a nice thing for them because lets face it not everyone respects other people. If you look at a general idea of being nice it’s doing nice things for others, for example picking up a dropped book. Sure respecting someone is a stretch of the word nice, but when it comes down to it respect is a nice thing everyone should get no matter the background.
Being able to put others before you is another aspect of Keith Theriault’s definition of nice. Doing this is one of the hardest things for people to do, but in many cases the most effective. Sometimes you need to take your own desires and someone else’s and put them on a scale. You need to weigh which one is more important based on good moral standards. You need to close your eyes, turn the other cheek, and jump into whatever it might be. It won’t always be good for you and sometimes you will get into a massive amount of trouble for it, but when it comes down to it you put others before you and by my standard that’s the nicest thing you can do for someone.
Anyone can do something for someone like holding a door. A nice person needs to take that action and WANT to do it for others any time they can. Nothing irritates me more than people who think they are such a nice and swell guy because they helped some old lady cross the street once in a blue moon. Niceness is a trait built into you since you were young and this means you want to help others. If you are nice you want to see people smile, you want to get that good feeling, and you want to stand out from a world of corruption and pain.
There are millions of people who live on this planet with you and me. Out of those millions of people there are those who want nothing more than to hurt, there are those who don’t care, and there are those who go with the crowd. Than all the way at the bottom of these groups of people are the ones that are nice. Niceness isn’t something we see everyday it’s not a compliment you give to someone after they give you a hand. Niceness is a whole new state of mind one that isn’t surrounding yourself or the achievements you done in life. Niceness is the ability to look at a darkened path and slowly make your way down it putting one foot in front of the other extending your hand into it reaching for others to grab on.
I believe that being nice is a decision. It isn't in someones character to be nice, you make the decision whether to be mean or nice in that moment of time. I believe I am a nice person sometimes in life, i'm not the nicest person in the world but i think i'm really nice. I hold the door for people who are entering and leaving buildings, if someone drops something on the floor i pick it up, and when people are feeling sad i go out of my way to cheer them up. I consider these nice things i decide to do, it's not in my character to be nice to people, to be honest i'm not sure what it means to have a character. I feel s though i could be a little nicer because there are times were i don't hold the door for people or when people ask for money i don't give it to them knowing that i have it and don't need but i feel like being stingy and not give it to them. I could be the nicest person to you for a whole day for no reason at all and then i could come in the next day and be rude and make fun of you just because. That's just the way the world is, there are people who make the decision to be nice one minute and a hour later they are being mean to the world.
ReplyDeleteI believe that being nice is a decision. The decision on whether you will be nice or not totally depends on your situation, your personality, and the way that you grew up. Being nice to people helps you interact with other humans. If you wan friends you might want to be nice to the person you want to befriend, if not then by all means necessary be nice. Me for example, I am a very nice person. When i was younger kids and other humans weren't always nice to me. I always said that I never wanted anybody to be treated the way I was treated unless I was treated nicely. Life isn't always going to deal you a nice hand so sometimes you have to take the bad. I was born in a family that was very "NICE," we rarely ever got beatens/disciplined, and when we did our parents would come back and apologize for being so harsh or mean. I do think at times I don't particularyly know when to turn the niceness off because I get screwed over for a lack of better words. However, when I am mean, after everything is over and done with i feel as though I have to go back and apologize because I never want to make someone feel bad. Let's say for example I'm having an off day and I'm mean to someone even if they did something wrong to me certain instances I feel as though I have to say sorry because you never know what someone is dealing with at home. I would rather someone treat me horribly and I just take it then them treating me horribly and e being rude back and them doing something to hurt themselves or someone else. Of course there are some cases where I just don't care but that's in the more extreme cases. I do think that the quote means exactly was it says, being nice is a decision, its not something that we are born with but it's something that we have the ability to turn on and off. I live by the golden rule, "Treat other the way you want to be treated."
ReplyDeleteI believe that niceness is both a decision and a character trait. Some people are just genuinely nice with everything they do, even when they dont mean to or they dont even notice it ; Without even thinking twice about it. I think that type of nicesness is a character trait. On the otherhand , some people just "try" to be nice because they might get some type of recognition or attention from others. I think that type of niceness is just a "social interaction". I think people who have niceness as their character have been brought up that way.
ReplyDelete"Niceness is a decision. It is a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait."
ReplyDeleteThis quote is stating that the concept of kindness only exists because of human morality. If the general public shows interest in people who are mean to others, then people will be mean to others regardless of who's looking. The quote is trying to say that people will do mean things whether it's necessary or not, but if being nice has no benefits for the person, there is a very good chance that they won't do anything. One time, I was walking through the hallway in Oakcrest, nobody else around, and saw an open locker. Inside the locker was an i-pod and a couple of textbooks. I thought of what I should have done using pros and cons of stealing the i-pod. The only pro was a free i-pod, but I don't like i-pods at all (excluding the touch). However, I could sell it for money to buy other things. The con was that my reputation was at stake. Everyone thinks that I'm a nice person, so I try to stay that way. The biggest reason as to why I closed the locker without stealing anything was my conscience. When you grow up in a world full of Disney movies and Sesame Street, the morals rub off on you. There are many times where I'm put in situations like that, like right now. While I was typing that story, a notification popped up on my computer that my file finished downloading on BitTorrent. I could improve the download rate for my other files by cutting off seeding from that file, but then other peers downloading that file won't be able to stream the pieces as well without my help. I guess I'll leave it open overnight and cut it off tomorrow when I get home from band. When I made that decision just now, is it because I'm actually nice or because I'm writing about it on a blog being posted on the internet? You decide.
I believe that niceness is a decision. The reason why I believe that it is a decision is because there is time when you can be nice and there are times where you can’t be so nice. The definition of nice to me is saying hello when someone speaks to you. Being respectful to friends, family, and teachers (defiantly Ms. Bunje). There are times when you do have to make a decision to be nice or mean. Like if someone curses you out you can’t be nice you got to tell that person off. While you don’t got but to you can what you can’t do is just be nice to that person. Just like it said in the quote it is a strategy of social interaction. Say if you just meet a guy and you guys start talking he is going to judge you just like you are going to judge him. It could be good or bad you won’t know. That why I always present myself as a nice person. I believe that you should always present yourself as a nice person but that my opinion. If you present yourself as a mean person you won’t get know where in life. Again also my opinion if you are mean person all the time then it would be hard to make friends hard for you in play sports and also hard to get a job. In the quote it also said it is not a character trait. I disagree with that as I said earlier about you just meeting a person it all has to do with character. I believe character takes you everywhere also like jobs, making friends, collage life, and high school life. To conclude to what I am saying is that niceness is a decision you can be mean or you can be nice.
ReplyDeleteI think niceness is a huge strategy of social interaction. All day kids are fake in school just to fit so they have no trouble through the day. As we all know most kids are not themselves in school. being nice just makes things a lot easier if your nice there isn’t many reasons why people wouldn’t like you. I also think nice can be a character trait. I have met people in my life who I think were genuine, there wasn’t one mean bone in there body. So I really think it all depends how you look at it. Growing up everyone is taught niceness, everyone knows how to be nice. How you choose to use it is up to you. If you use it just to fit it and go through the motions that is your choice. If being nice all the time is just who you are you have a brighter future than the other guy. I only agree to part of this quote. This is a really hard blog for me to answer because I don’t really have to many experiences. Im not much of a people person either because I just seem to always be betrayed so I just keep to myself now a days.
ReplyDeleteNiceness isnt a decision to me. Ive ALWAYS been the nice guy. But I don't think that being nice is a decision. I have to be nice to anyone even if i think they're not reputable. My mom has always taught me to be nice and I feel like its embedded in my character, so i think that niceness is a character trait because its something that youre described as not something that you can tell yourself that you are, but something that people have to describe you as. Niceness cant be decided upon, it just comes out of nowhere. Like a shooting star, you cant decide when they pass by, they just happen. Niceness can be described as a trait that you have because its what others think not what you decide on. If we could all decide if we could be nice, what would be the meaning of nice? I mean a guy could be a racist white dude from Louisiana and consider himself a nice guy even though he's racist. Its only a thing that can be described by others, not a decision you could make on your own.
ReplyDeleteFor some people being nice is a character trait. Believe it or not there are some nice people on this planet that are nice just because they are. However, most people are nice because they think they will get something out of it. This may by anything from wanting something in return or just for that doing good felling. So, this quote is a generalization on what how most people are but, not all of them.
ReplyDeleteNiceness is usually a choice. Especially in school, I've see people talk to one another like they're good friends, but whn one isn't there, the other says bad stuff about them. For the most part, it's an act just so someone makes themselves look good and to maintain the social status. I've found myself in this situation before, as I'm sure many people have, and it doesn't feel right. However, not everyone is this way; for some people it's in their character, it's who they are. The quote basically sums up the majority of people.
ReplyDeleteI think being nice is both a character trait and a decision, for myself, I believe it's a character trait. When we were talking in class about whether nice people were being nice just because there were others around, just to seem nice, it got me thinking and I started doubting if I was really nice or not. As I was wondering, I realized that I really am a nice person. I can't help it. It's not just when I'm around others so other people will think I'm nice. I'm pretty much always nice. I'm mannerly, I don't mind sharing, I care about people for the most part and if for some reason I'm not nice, I feel really bad later. I know quite a few people like that too. However, there are a lot of fake people out there. It's pretty unfortunate how there are more of them around than the genuinely nice people. Still, I think that whether you're going to be sincere or not, people should still be nice to others. I don't think you should be mean or rude to others just because you don't know them or don't like them. I'm not saying they should go out of their way to be nice to them either, but they should be respectfully nice. The quote says that it's a decision and a strategy for social interaction. Although there are some people who view it that way and some who make that statement true, I don't believe it is true for everybody. Like I mentioned before I'm a nice person, and I know quite a few people who are sincere nice people. I'm not nice for social interaction, I don't care if people will like me. People tend to take advantage of people who are nice and then they get confused on whether they're friends because of who they are, or just because they're taking advantage of them for being nice.
ReplyDeleteDecisions, choices, personal trait, three things in one's life that make up who they are, in my opinion. A personal trait is something that is genetic, something that you are born with. However, it is your choices and/or decisions in life that define those traits, define who you are as a person. Whether you are being good or bad that is your decision. When I was younger, much younger, I was a badass. Especially around the time I was in fifth grade. There was no one telling me what I could or couldn't do, I simply did as I pleased. Before then, I was a good kid, stayed out of trouble and was actually the complete opposite did everything I was told. When entering middle school, I meet a group of kids who were "Cool" and I desperately wanted to be there friends. They always seemed like they were having a good time, living life with joy. Wanting to be there friends so bad I decided to act in ways that they would act. For example, I would through paper balls at teachers (SORRY Bunje). At the time SpongeBob had came out so I would sing its theme song out loud in class distracting everyone and not allowing the teacher to teach. There were times where I would get into fights, for things as little as someone taking my pencil. In Spanish I would talk bad about the teachers, one day not knowing the teacher I was talking about was Spanish. I would get suspended or even skip school and not inform my mother and just roam around Pleasantville without a care in the world. I would have to admit that year, fifth grade, would had to have been the best year of my school years. Without a doubt I was doing things I shouldn't have been, being bad but, I had fun. I acted up as part of frustration going on in my household but, instead of approaching the situation in a positive way or seeking guidance, I choose to act up. I choose to not only harm others, upset others but, myself. Some physically, for others mentally. My point across this story is "Niceness" is a decision, a choice one makes regarding on their personal trait. Internally, I have a trait consisting of niceness; however, when I was younger, I choose to do the opposite. When I got older I decided to fix myself and start doing right. It helped to realize that I needed to succeed but, knowing everything is based on decisions it was good to make the right ones and not the bad. People choose what they want to be the trait doesn’t choose for them.
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ReplyDeleteI disagree with that quote. I've come across some people who are just flat out nice. Maybe too nice.I think there are a bunch more people in this world, who are just nice all the time. I think it is a trait. When it comes to interacting with others being nice and mean are traits. I dont know if people are the same way by themselves but it really doesnt matter. I know so many people who are just nice to me all the time and i know people who are just mean all the time, and half and half. Being nice comes with your personality.
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