Every week I ask you something that requires you to think. Many of you like that, some don't. It's understandable; sometimes we don't like looking that closely at ourselves for a variety of reasons. The thing is, though, if we ever want to grow as individuals, if we want to learn and expand our views of the world, of ourselves, of our situations, we HAVE to look deeply into the things that we are most afraid of.
This week, the question is a bit different.
While it does require some deep introspective thought, it also allows you an opportunity to get something that has been on your mind off your mind, if only for the time it takes to write it down.
So--what's on your mind?
This blog post requires at least 400-450 words.
:) Love ya.
Right now, my born day is on my mind. It is Monday, 6:24, exactly 12 hours since you posted this and I feel lucky and special (:P) I can actually say that I will enjoy this whole week will be enjoyed. I can't wait to go to school tomorrow because it's only days until I turn 17. My born day is April 22, 1994 and it falls on Good Friday this year. I am also one of the few, "Earth Boy's" because Earth Day is also on my born day every year. Wednesday should be a breeze because we're not doing anything in school that day. I have a long time to enjoy my born day because it's more than a, "Born day weekend". It's my, "Born day break". I have time to fool around, get in trouble, enjoy myself, lift, and everything! This past week has been one hell of a week considering OBDC 2 and wrestling almost everyday and the tournament. Now it's time to relax. That's all that's on my mind about my born day. Another thing that's on my mind is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWWAYUjNFKA. I chill so hard when I do these blogs. Straight up, it's drastic. I love listening to music while doing homework. It's like a brain exercise overload. It's working my multi tasking skills. It also relieves stress. It's the only thing that keeps me sane with all of my school work. Next, I HAVE to work on this SAT practice bs so I need to keep writing on here. I can' wait until my dad gets home because I will no longer be bored. That's basically all I have because that's all I'm worried about. After this week, I don't know what I will do because I've been waiting for this week for the past year. Maybe I'll go car shopping, who knows ;). The past 15 minutes went by SO fast and I can't believe I started this blog that long ago. It's drastic. That's all that's on my mind. Bye.
ReplyDelete*this whole week will be enjoyed
ReplyDeleteMy mind is flooded with thoughts, and it's over capacity. I can hold down the fort though. Honestly the first thing that is throbbing in my mind is the fact that racism is still alive, and that I've witnessed it far too much this year. Today I broke down in public, something I don't do, and for it to happen, it means that I'm either getting weaker, or the opposition is getting far too strong. I don't think I can write the blog about it though because it's overwhelming, and I'm working on an OP that's about that subject.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing that is on my mind is the fact that my morning was horrible, and when mornings are horrible l feel because they effect most of my day. I'm thinking about why I let that happen, it's a chain effect that I can stop, and yet feelings and emotions aren't something I can control, and I end up ruining my own day.
This brings me to another snippet of thoughts in my mind which is feelings. I wish there was an off and on button for your emotions. I tend to avoid at all costs getting close to anyone because nothing ever lasts forever. Wether it's friendships, or relationships I keep my distance, and as soon as I realize there is too much of an attachment, I do what I do best and run. I'm getting tired of that though, I try to make no promises to me, because promises keep me around. I don't know what to do, or how stop hurting people, because I know the running for the most part is selfish. I act very mean to make the people want to leave me, then I think "hey! they're the ones that left!" but in reality and sub-conciously I drove them away.
I'm also thinking of how I live such a double life. I love my family and all but I wish they knew another Manar, and I wish my school friends would see another Manar too. I feel misplaced, and now that the real world is around the corner, I feel like that those two Manars are going to be more easily combined, and I might finally not have to hide so much about me to the people around me and the people I care most about.
It's also on my mind that I probably shouldn't die of the fourth marking period. I have the worst case of senioritis, and it's truly killing me off because I don't even do homework anymore. I just listen to music, draw, and eat. Okay, it's not that extreme, but I'm close to just sleeping all day. I'm being such a drama queen right now it's ridiculous. I need to toughen up, and get to fixing that cover for Fresne. Which reminds me of how close graduation is, therefore I'm happy.
That's what I'm thinking about for the most part.
Things that are on my mind right now ??? hmmmmm there are a lot of things on my mind right now, well for starters my birthday is next week I cannot wait and two days before it is my nephews birthday soo that week is going to be exciting I hope. But another thing that is on my mind that we just talked about a few min. ago is racism I can’t believe that fact that people are still racist like where do we get it from I don’t remember my mom teaching it to me I just remember always knowing it was it from learning it in school well I don’t know and I don’t understand why white people don’t like black people??? We have we done to you? We should be madd at yall because of what yall done to us but it happen so many years ago what’s the point why hold on to stuff like that that is only going to hurt you in the long run. I will never teach my kids to hate an race and why is it really only between whites and blacks I don’t understand racism It is stupid and it makes me very very very upset. Well am I racist towards white people I don’t know that is a very good question I have white friends but that is only because they act black and we go to school together like think about it would I befriend them if they act like them self’s or their color ??? Would I even talk to them if they weren’t in my class? I can’t say I hate white people because I don’t think I can ever hate anybody but I strongly dislike them more thing anything else more then I dislike liars. And it’s only because of how they act they think that they are better than anybody and everybody and they think that if you’re not white then you are beneath them. I know not all of them think like that but in my eyes most of them do and the other half think it but never would admit it. How could we change racism? How do kids and feel so strongly about it but never even went through that stuff like why does it hurt them? Why does it need to be taught in schools I don’t understand it its crazy and needs to be stopped but how ????????
ReplyDeleteIt is 11:18 I just got home from school and decided to do my blog and get it out of the way. It just so happens to be that fishing is on my mind. It is a beautiful day out and I want to go and try to catch some fish. I love fishing I feel as if it relives me of all the stress on my mind. I go with a friend usually I don’t like to do things on my own. When I go fishing it is so piece full I get to sit in front of water which has its own beauty and just relax and absorb nature. Just sitting there on the water at that point in time I have no worries it’s just time away from all of the non-sense. Than when you catch a fish it’s even better because as your reeling in your line you don’t know what’s on the other end than when you finally get it in it’s a surprise! I love it and most of the time it’s just for the sport of it so the fish get thrown back, if I catch a monster I am definitely keeping it though. Today I’m going out to Tuckahoe to try and catch some perch hopefully I can get some big ones because there tasty. Now I’m thinking about how I don’t like to do a lot of things on my own. It’s kind of weird because I don’t know why I’m like that. I think it comes from not wanting to be lonely and when I’m by myself I have no one to talk to. I just like having another human there to keep my company. A lot of people turn to animals and don’t get me wrong I love my dog to death but he can’t talk and make me feel better about things. How I wish he could though because my dog would never betray me and that’s ultimately the problem I don’t like to be lonely, but I sure as hell don’t let people get close to me. So it is very confusing. I have a trust issue. Ever since I was little my father always told me to never trust anyone and after some life lessons I understand why. It’s a big issue that I have to overcome because it’s hard to go through life not trusting someone because I feel as if when I have a problem I have no one to turn to and talk to thus making me feel very lonely and that’s one of the things I hate the most. As I get older I realize I’m just going to have to accept it and somehow deal with it. For a little I tried going to a counselor but there’s no personal connection at all and what they tell you is a crock of shit anyway. They just want to get paid and have you sit there so they can tell u the exact same things your mom taught you when you were 5 it is a waste of time.
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ReplyDeleteI only have one more drastic day of school, then I will have a good time on spring break. What's on my mind is my born day. I am pushing myself to accomplish individual goals to mature and act like a 17 year old should act. I have a few things to do in order to accomplish my goals and I'm willing to do them. I believe that I can do it and this year will be the year to change my ways and focus on college. I've got to specifically do some things that will be hard to change but thanks to some recent talks, I know that I can do it.
There's been a lot on my mind lately, so much going on the end of my senior year, future plans, prom, friends, relationships and being an adult. This is a time in my life where the biggest change occurs, childhood to adulthood. On April 13th I turned 18 years old and it made me realize I will soon be independent, living on my own, making my own decisions, and I choose where my life will go. Graduating from high school is very exciting but at the same time intimidating. I'm happy and very lucky to have the support and absolute trust from my parents that I know what's best for me at this point. They let me make my own decisions but at the same time they help and guide me in the right way. I feel fortunate for all they've done for me because I know not everyone can say the same. I was fortunate enough to know what I want to do with my life from an early age, and I've been able to work towards it and make it a possibility. Change is a scary thought sometimes but because I'm graduating from high school it's something I have to really think about and seriously focus on. My mind is constantly wondering about my future, because I don't know much about it I feel no matter how hard I plan and prepare myself there's no guarantee on what hasn't happened yet. There's college to worry about. sure I got in but being able to graduate and maintain good grades while holding down a job is something I hope I'm ready for. Originally I was going to stay with my parents instead of a dorm but this is an important step I need to take. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to start college right after high school because with it just a few months away I don't know if I'm as prepared as I would like to be. I need time to develop who I am not only as a student but as an adult. This entire entry may be sloppy and poorly written but I'm listing my thoughts as they come to me, there's really a lot of things I'm not ready for. My mom and dad have all the confidence in the world that i'll be just fine but I find myself thinking twice about that. Which adds more pressure because I don't want to let them down, They've done their jobs raising me, now I have to reflect what they taught me. It's overwhelming and seems like just yesterday it was my first day of school, now in a few months I'm off to college.
ReplyDeleteWhat's on my mind? Everything is on my mind right now. I'm constantly thinking about how my ife will change within the next month and a half. I can honestly say that I have dreamed about graduating since I first stepped foot in Oakcrest. I never enjoyed school and if I did it was only on certain days. I'm thinking about how my responsibiities will change and how I will really be considered an adult. I'm not scared but I'm worried that I won't succeed. I've never had a job and there's a lot of things that I need. I want to be out of my mother's house and ou on my own so I can have the freedom that I truely desire. There's a miion questions running across my head and I'm worried that they won't get answered. I'm beginning to realize that everything I do has an effect whether its good or bad.My parents are no longer responsible for my actions. I need to get my head on straight and get focused becasue as soon as I eave the 4 walls of oakcrest theres no turning back!
ReplyDeleteWell, my mind is always flooding with thoughts. That’s not necessarily a good thing, though. With so many things going through my head, it can be hard to concentrate on one thing. At this point in time, I’m thinking about this blog. I don’t mean to be literal, but that is the answer. If you’re talking about today as a whole, my mind has been set on Portal 2. During school I was thinking about playing it because I’ve been looking forward to this game for years. I wasn’t able to play yesterday because I was visiting Drexel again, but right after I came home from school I opened my laptop and booted up Steam (I pre-ordered and pre-loaded it, so everything was already set up). Then, of course, my brain was working on the puzzles in the game. In case you didn’t know, Portal 2 is a mind-bender game, meaning that you have to think. The puzzles aren’t the only things that get you thinking; the story-line and the dialogue are really well written. The ‘conversations’ are always witty and you never know who to trust in the lab. I’ve also been thinking about the video we saw in class today. I thought it was a good video; not much of the stuff was new to me, but I loved how he explained it. I thought that that would be enough to get people to understand the universe more. No offense to anyone in the class, but I had trouble holding in my laughter from some of the questions, especially “If we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?” The answer just seems like common sense. It has even got to the point that it shows up as an actual joke in some comics: http://www.vgcats.com/super/?strip_id=50 I just don’t bother arguing if they don’t understand the logic. Next thing on my mind: Prom. I’m going to prom, but my mom is always complaining about how I don’t have a date. I told her that I’m carpooling with a bunch of friends as friends. Either way, she’s always on my back about getting a girlfriend. Let’s move on to college. I already know that I’m going to Drexel, and my visit yesterday enforced my decision a lot. I started talking to some people that are freshmen there, and they seemed pretty cool. However, when I say cool I mean nerds. Also, there were a couple seniors also visiting for the Honors College reception. I started talking with them, and it was great. I could actually hold a conversation with someone I hardly know with them understanding anime terms and ‘comic book jargon’. So yeah, I’ve got a lot of things on my mind.
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